Dunking the Dormouse
by MirrorDede
Summary: Imagine that Break actually did become a chain in the Abyss, and is contracted to Liam. The Will of Abyss has a special mission for them...
1. Chapter 1

**Requested on the Pandora Hearts kink meme: **

**.com/pandora_?thread=715704#t715704**

"**Break actually did become a Chain in the Abyss, and he's contracted to Liam. **

**Go wherever you want with that! ^_\\"**

**Alright! This is appropriate because I have been thinking lately about the possibility that Break might actually be a chain after all.**

**This is naturally a bit of an AU.**

**BTW I have used the fan convention "Alyss" as the name of the Will of Abyss.**

_**Dunking the Dormouse**_

"It's time for tea!" cooed Alyss, her white dress curved around her like a calla lily. Her stuffed animals and dolls all gathered around, while the clock's hands spun and danced a tune of discordant mayhem.

"What kind of nightmare is this?" murmured Kevin, his eye socket painfully dripping monstrous drops of warm, red blood all over his shirt, and the floor…the floor was spinning and turning and he felt dizzy and sick.

"Where is he?" called Alyss. "He's late!"

Kevin felt her warm hands on his cheeks.

"You'll have to take his place," she said, looking him right in his one remaining eye, and caressing his face with her fingers.

"W-what do you mean?" Kevin stuttered.

"I _must _have guests at my tea party," Alyss said, pouting. "I can't bear to be alone!" She took his hand and half-coaxed, half-dragged him to a table, which was set for tea and cookies. Kevin reluctantly sat at the table with dolls and stuffed animals, his eye socket aching.

"Ah, now, it won't be much longer before you are a chain!" shrieked the doll on his left.

"A chain! A chain!" chorused the animals and dolls. "A brand new chain!"

Kevin trembled violently as blood dripped from his face into the teacup that had been placed in front him.

Without warning, Alyss appeared at his right side and suddenly thrust something into his empty eye socket, then poured hot tea into it.

"Aaah!" he gasped. "It burns!"

"Hahaha!" laughed Alyss. "Mad Hatter and March Hare must drown the Dormouse in a teapot!"

The last thing he remembered seeing in Abyss was the clock, its hands spinning madly forward, forward, forward…relentlessly toward the future….thirty years into the future, to be exact.

"Well," said Liam, wringing his hands a bit. "I was hoping for a less wimpy-looking chain, but you'll do, I suppose."

Kevin looked up with his remaining eye at the bespectacled nerd in front of him. _Wimpy-looking? He's one to talk,_ he thought.

"So, do you mind if I call you Xerxes?" asked Liam. "It's the name of a king! That name will make you sound…really powerful."

"Hrrummph," mumbled Xerxes. "So I'm a chain, ah?"

"Not just any chain," said Liam, grinning. "You're special! Like B-Rabbit. You can take on a human form and also kill other chains. Your chain form is called 'Mad Hatter.'"

"Well, that's appropriate, I suppose," said Xerxes, thoughtfully. _I certainly have gone mad. I could have sworn this Liam fellow was present at the tea party as a March Hare._

And so Xerxes and Liam sat down to tea, and a lovely friendship began.

\\\\

While you are waiting for chapter two to be posted, I encourage you to read "A Mad Tea Party" chapter from _Alice in Wonderland_ by Lewis Carroll. It will inspire the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

_**Fast forward another fifteen years … and feel the angst of the previous chapter give way to cracky humor, because that's how I roll.**_

_**`The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon its nose. **__**[quote from Alice in Wonderland, "A Mad Tea Party] **_

Liam Lunettes and Xerxes Break - contracted together as a dangerous and deadly chain called Mad Hatter - had been charged with a mission by the Will of Abyss.

"Kill Vincent!" she had told them. "He cut my precious Cheshire's eyes out with scissors and always says mean things to me. I hate him!"

So Liam and Xerxes had formed a plan, and invited Vincent Nightray and his chain, Dormouse, to tea.

Liam opened the door to Barma manor and invited Vincent inside. After the stiffly hypocritical greetings, the three men went to the tea room and sat down together.

"My, that is an enormous teapot," commented Vincent when he saw the decorative tea urn that was large enough to hold a child.

"We had it made specially for your visit, Vincent-sama," said Xerxes.

"Is that so," muttered Vincent, unsure how he should feel.

Liam poured out the tea using a siphoning trick with a bit of rubber hose, while Xerxes offered sweets, treacle and bread with butter.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Xerxes asked Vincent.

"Are you talking about my brother, Gilbert?" queried Vincent.

"I'll let you decide."

"Oh, I think my brother is very much like a writing desk. He's strong and sturdy and I can always count on him to be…to be…"

"…under your thumb?" sneered Xerxes.

"My, my," laughed Vincent. "Your vitriol is thinly disguised today, Mr. Hatter."

"Indeed," said Xerxes, tapping his finger to his mouth. "I want a clean cup. Let's switch places."

The three of them each took the seat to his right, which placed Vincent right in front of the giant tea urn, and caused Xerxes to accidentally sit upon the scissors that Vincent had left in his chair.

"Ow!" said both Xerxes and Liam simultaneously.

"Isn't it interesting," said Vincent thoughtfully, "how the damage inflicted upon a chain also hurts its contractor?"

Liam and Xerxes raised their eyebrows at each other.

"Well," said Liam, rubbing his butt. "Let's talk about the reason we invited you here."

"Yes, let's," said Vincent, taking a sip of tea.

"You often say that it's better for people to not know what happened in the past," stated Liam. "And because of this, you have acquired a reputation at Pandora of having very little interest in or knowledge of the history of this great country of ours."

Liam paused to pick up a sheaf of papers.

"So our task here to today is to give you a history lesson," explained Xerxes. "Liam will start by explaining about our trade history."

Liam cleared his throat and began to read from the sheaf of papers in a voice that became more and more monotone as the minutes passed.

Within minutes, Vincent's eyelids began to droop, and during Liam's dreary listing of agriculture and mining products native to the region, he dropped off to sleep, Dormouse floating above his head.

Xerxes shifted his weight and looked at Liam, smiling. Liam looked up from his papers, and then realizing their objective was half-way realized, put the papers aside.

Carefully and quietly, Liam removed the lid of the giant teapot, then crept around to Xerxes and gently kissed the eyelid of his missing eyeball. Mad Hatter appeared in a whirl of warm wind, picked up Dormouse and dunked his head in the teapot.

Vincent woke with a start, gasping for air. His chain was drowning in tea, and so was he…after a moment of struggle…it was all over. Vincent and Dormouse were dead, and Mad Hatter was whooshed safely back into Xerxes eye socket.

"Well, we'd better make a report to Pandora," said Liam, pushing up his glasses. "We'll call it a drowning. Vincent is careless enough with his chain, I don't think anyone will question it."

Xerxes grinned.

"First, we should celebrate," he said, taking box of rum truffles of his pocket. And so they did.

**THE END**


End file.
